KESH

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“I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.’”
—Kurt Vonnegut

It is the eve of Mother’s Day and I’m weeping.

Being your mother has lifted me into a new level of being, where before I appreciated life and now I float above it, in awe of it, in awe of you.

I’m crying because, god, wouldn&rsq

The underbelly of this existence.

Alternatively, how thoughts coexist on one plane. One long flight of ideas, at once lovely and cynical.

4 months

——

You make everything butt-er.

But, we did it. And this new ring of life is heaven. A heaven in which I’m holding you in my arms now and in a year and in ten years and twenty.

It is a bittersweet, heaven in which I look at you and this life has already passed. You’re

8 weeks…

Not to be confused with 2 months.

#maths

These feelings exist in parallels.

We hurt | We are okay

Now a new thread runs central to all others and it is impossible. A vulnerability I could have never imagined, and yet, we conjured it. And yet, he does not belong to us.

According to Kahli

Function over form.

I can’t get over that this body, which has failed me in so many ways, continue to provide abundantly and without fail.

I am bewildered each day, that the pain has been relegated to my left hip, and I carry it with me as I

Don’t wake me from this dream.

July, you feel like a fever dream.

We’re sticky with the anticipation of what’s to come; unsure of what the footing will feel like once we land. And, oh god, to think we’re bringing yet another human into the preexisting chaos tha

28 weeks.

——————

The first 12 weeks were filled with the uncertainty of whether or not you would be viable.

The second twelve weeks were filled with the hope that your genetic code and biological processes were